Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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