nut hugger
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
