No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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