And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
