I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
