I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
