she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
