Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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