Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
