he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she told me i tasted like america
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
