Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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