I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
