yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
