Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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