So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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