She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry about my life...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
