Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
