And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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