im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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