Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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