Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
there is glitter all over my balls
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
