I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
