At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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