Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
