when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
