OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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