thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
