Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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