i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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