Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
