dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
