I am in a vortex of obligation.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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