we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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