What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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