I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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