Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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