That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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