I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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