Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
