You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
