So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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