Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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