i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
