is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
