i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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