We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
