Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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