i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
