My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
