I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
