we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
