What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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