I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
