Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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