This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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