I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
