Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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