The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
