Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
