she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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