Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
