You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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