I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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