So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
